Day and Night Pharmacy – Prostrate Problems

Polygamy is in my genes. My grandfather, on dad’s side, had two wives. The other grandfather had three wives. My uncles from both sides have at least two each. Apparently there’s a hidden medical benefit for men like these.

There was something wrong with my father, he only had my mother.  Nevertheless I’m sure I carry the gene. Some genes only exhibit their presence if environmental factors are conducive. I’m convinced that winning a lottery would definitely transcribe my genotype.

She says she will grab more than half the winnings and won’t be staying for the title of ‘first wife’. This tired joke of the men in my family tree never fails to annoy my wife.

Yet it seems these abhorrent boys can choose to argue that there’s a science-backed medical benefit to this dodgy lifestyle: two recent studies from Harvard, 2003 (involving 29342 men) and  Australia, 2004 (2338 men) linked frequent ejaculations to  less incidents of prostate cancer in later life.

The unanimous hypothesis is that frequent emptying of the prostate gets rid of potentially damaging sterile semen. It would be interesting to know how well the notorious King Mswati’s waterworks are performing at 47. Via courtship and adaption he’s  reportedly on wife number 15.

As young boys we used to sneak away to play in the Hunyani river. I never managed the skill of swimming but we enjoyed messing about and being boys. We’d compete to see who would pee the  furthest distance into the river!

But when a man’s age leaves 40 behind and rises towards 50 one stands at the toilet and looks up into the ceiling like a farmer glares into the empty blue sky in a drought year… When is the water going to come down? And he swears under his breath, ‘Come on Biggie, you used to be a prolific sprinkler in your prime… Now I’ve got to milk you to ooze out a trickle!’.

As he gets back into bed he feels the urge to pee again. Damn it! What a life. Yes, that’s an aging prostate for you. The sole purpose of it is to produce the leche that carries sperm. As one ages it tends to grow, probably due to hormones, from a walnut size weighing 20g to as much as an 80g tennis ball.

A bigger prostate affects the flow of urine because of the pressure it exerts on urinary organs. This gland sits just below the bladder (where the tubes from the balls join the pee pipe) and the pee pipe passes through it such that as it enlarges the squeeze gets tighter. Problems galore; difficulty starting or stopping, weak flow rate, feeling the bladder is not completely emptied, prolonged dribbling and sudden or frequent toilet visits.

Medicines can work to stunt the growth or shrink the prostate, to relax the prostate muscles to ease the squeeze, and to stabilise an overactive bladder. Some drugs have side effects that mimic or exacerbate prostate difficulties. However daily intake of the famous drug Viagra (sildenafil), and its drug family members, has been shown to not only help with ED but to relieve prostate problems and to reduce blood pressure. Fingers crossed, if more evidence is produced and NICE approves these all-in-one uses, all men over 40 shall rise and  rejuvenate back into graffiti sprayers that they once were.

Talk to your GP or ask for a confidential chat at the pharmacy. Early treatment is best. To all of us restricted to one partner I say, if it turns out to be prostate cancer, no panic: Just like the wife, men with prostate cancer are more likely to die with it than die from it.

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