Day and Night Pharmacy – Summer of Discontent


What a brilliant summer! We witnessed the football massacre of Brazil and the  thwarting of Argentina by the inimitable German machinery. Their ultra efficiency is only comparable to the Day and Night Carousel Repeats Service. 

Oops!.. Please don’t quote me next time you call in to find that your repeat isn’t ready… it’s always someone else’s fault. By the way, after this article I’ll have a queue of those who would like to sue me and those who want to cuddle me (if they get here before the men in dark glasses do me in.)

Our Three Lions did not perform to the best of their ability and it wasn’t totally their fault, the manager is a bit iffy… It’s probably hard for the lads to get motivated for the national team anyway given the dosh they earn in the premier league. At least none of our boys demanded cash before training or playing much unlike my brethren from Nigeria and Ghana, they seemed to be jostling for the World Cup of embarrassing moments.

Refusing to trail behind these two, a Cameroonian committed blatant assault on the pitch as if to deliberately get a red card- no wonder their team was implicated in match-fixing.

This is why the cunning Old Bob (Mugabe) of Zimbabwe has got it all sorted. He starves his lot so much that the national team is weak and never qualifies for the World Cup saving the proud African the inevitable World-Stage embarrassment. Give the 90-year old geezer some credit. Not many at that age can manage their own medicines let alone preside over a nation of 12 million unhappy inhabitants.

If what was reported before the start of the  tournament is true, I’d like to get the opportunity to dispense medication prescribed by a witch doctor to Yaya Toure of Manchester City. For only a witch doctor can claim ability to sort a head like his. The guy reportedly threw a  ludicrous strop over his club because they apparently cold-shouldered his birthday celebration. If a birthday celebration matters so much to him I say, bro check this out; this year Day and Night Pharmacy is promising you a birthday cake as big as your bum as long as you use your staggering over £200,000 per week wages to negotiate with your fellow West African Muslim brothers to release our girls. We haven’t  forgotten. We want our girls back! 

Elsewhere,  there are some nutters in Gaza who could do with some tranquilisers- but Israel has some questions to answer. Can a war ever be more unequal?.. And how about the  children?..

Back at the old Sewing Box, I hate to think that as we have grown and grown our Germanic Carousel Prescription Repeats and general Fast and Friendly service is now somewhat hindered by the space within which we operate. It’s a shame the developers of the new medical centre behind the Arndale chose to ignore us- they probably judged the book by its cover.  Nevertheless, I’m not convinced relocation would have been popular with all our punters. Given the good relations we have built with all the local surgeries and the patients, we’re quite confident it will be business as usual.

Our ‘as-you-wish’ flexible collection and delivery service continues to proliferate, this, and the future electronic transmission of prescriptions from the GP to the pharmacy will mean patients can get their scripts filled wherever they wish.

In the meantime I’ve been preaching Peter Cheales’ gospel to our staff and encouraging them to recite the following prayer: Oh Lord lead us not to end up with patients who have a reason to deliver us a parting shot saying, ‘’I was your customer…

UNTIL you became inconsistent

UNTIL you lost your speed of service

UNTIL you cut your delivery costs

UNTIL  I received superior service elsewhere

UNTIL  I felt at home elsewhere.’’



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One Comment

  1. Abel puts the disco into discontent!!

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